How do you respond after believing it's yours [the promise] but it's actually not?

We've all had seasons of praying, fasting, believing and hoping that what we want is going to present exactly as we think (maybe some revisions but nothing too drastic). Then BOOM, it's not time, "No", "denied", "we went with another candidate", the relationship ends etc.

Truth is, it hurts and if you can admit your human nature, rejection, abandonment, anger, shame, and all the feels might come up for you. I experienced this recently and it shook me. I responded in ways I'm not super proud of, and I want to mature to where my response is a "Yes" to God and believing that I am good and that His plans may be different, but He knows what He's doing.

God has been speaking to me about how He is healing our response to Him. You may have heard the therapy terms: fight and flight. I'd like to cover these and other ones that people often don't hear about, fawn and freeze. When we feel threatened these responses are triggered and I believe this is applicable to feeling like you are set to see God move in one direction and He has something else in mind. Idk about you but that feels like a threat or ambush to my plans, and I want to fix that.

In our relationship with God, these emotional/ spiritual responses look like:

• Fight: Responding to a threat aggressively. (ex: yelling at God, speaking about Him in a way that makes Him seem unfaithful, saying that all the work you did was for nothing, presenting your problem in a way that makes it seem like God is the problem because He didn't do it how you wanted.)

• Flight: Running away from perceived danger. (ex: shutting things down spiritually, limiting prayer/ communication with Him, less time in the Word or at church, running to old habits, self-sabotage, self-loathing, isolation)

• Freeze: Feeling like you are stuck. (ex: struggling to move forward from the changes, not communicating emotions to God or those in your circle. replaying negative scenarios over and over, perceived helplessness, victimization)

• Fawn: Engaging in people pleasing behaviors. (ex: thinking you didn't do enough to get the blessing or promise instead of recognizing that it's God's plan and timing, feeling unworthy and not good enough, trying to earn it from performance, avoiding true emotions.)

Why can I detail each of these? Girl, I've been at all of em' before but God is bringing this to our attention so we can respond better, in a healthy way that relies on trusting Him and knowing our identity doesn't fluctuate even when plans do.

Instead of responding with fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, God wants us to be assured in our importance to Him and the plans he does have for us.

Next time you don't get the answer you want from God try this:

Step 1: Recognize that you are feeling one of the responses.

Step 2: Think of the bigger picture and immediately invite God in.

Step 3: Thank God for ordering your steps and for protection from what you did not see. (I know how hard this is in the moment!)

Step: 4 Pull from scripture about who God says He is and who you are to Him.

Step 5: Feel your feelings still but do it knowing that you aren't alone and even though it doesn't feel like it, something better is coming.

Approaching God and the changes in this way will help you feel more in control, shows God that you trust Him, and helps you feel calmer about the situation. If you find that you respond to threats in the ways listed above, repent, and invite God in to help build a secure response to His movement in your life.

Matthew 6

 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[e] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Blessings and breakthroughs,

Brie